Trash
by MiniMe
Summary: Part I of Shadows and Ice. Harry needs something only Draco can give him, pain... But what happens when Harry tries for the ultimate pain? Can his friends save him from himself? Will Death prove a kinder mistress... Or does it all lie in Draco? Slash.
1. Dirty

Disclaimer- Dirty belongs to Korn and HP belongs to J K Rowlings.

A/N- I wanted to do H/D smut, and I was listening to Issues the other day (I have the weirdest taste in music, because before that I was listening to my Carlos Montoya flamenco and well you get the picture…) and thought, these lyrics are great for this! And there will be another chapter… Oh yes there will be more… But not for some time, sorry and children shouldn't be reading this.

Dirty Dirty Whore… 

"Oh god, god Draco please-" Harry moaned. Draco smiled.

"Say it." He whispered softly, oh so softly. It was like liquid velvet, warm comforting, bleeding…

_Keep knocking_

_ No ones there_

_ Pouring down_

_ Near people_

Harry arched back and let Draco work on his neck, god it felt so- so- it felt good and bad and horrible and wonderful and-

"Say it!" Draco growled and savagely bit Harry's neck, Harry cried out at the pain and Draco sucked up Harry's blood, it was coppery and salty and somehow primal in a way that made him heady with pleasure.

"Say it." The voice was coaxing and soft, it was dangerous and Harry felt his will weakening.

"Draco, fuck me." He breathed, and felt his soul die a little more. Draco smiled in triumph and smashed Harry back into the wall.

"God you're so weak Potter, why do you do this to yourself? You are so weak, losing control like this… but then again, you're so very tasty, why should I care?"

_ My head_

_ By myself_

All alone 

Harry could have cried, but- but he didn't, all he wanted was to feel, to feel anything. Love held nothing for him. Sirius was fleeing for his life, to be with him meant he could die, Hermione didn't understand, Ron couldn't know, but when he was with Draco-

_Stop fooling yourself Potter, you need this, you need to feel this._

"Be in me Draco, make me complete." Draco smiled and then began to tease Harry's clothes off. By now he knew just how to inflict maximum pleasure and still get pain that he craved. He smiled, Harry was crying again. He kissed his tears, licking them from the boy's face in a gesture that could almost be tender, before sucking on the bite on Harry's neck. The salt burned…

Harry felt raw fire building his gut, and he let Draco drive him onto the cold hard stone, this was the dungeons, this was where Draco ruled…

"Make me feel Draco." Harry pleaded, and Draco stopped.

"Say it Potter- say it again, and say what you are, have no fucking illusions, and be free." Harry sobbed again and Draco was suddenly jamming fingers into him, it hurt, he wasn't prepared. He yelped and the collapsed into Draco.__

_ Ripping my head off_

_ I hurt so bad inside_

_ At least you can see_

_ The world through my eyes_

Draco clawed him in rage, his fingers tearing furrows in Harry's back, and then shoving him back to hard he saw stars.

"Say it, or I won't do it." Harry stared at him in horror.

"But- but- what?" Draco smiled sweetly, but his eyes held no emotion.

"Say you're a whore, a dirty little faggot, say it now Potter, you are scum, why I fuck you is honestly beyond me."__

_ It stays the same_

_ I just wanna live again_

Sensations were distant, time was gone, all that was there was pain and-

"Please, please no-" Harry murmured, so Draco kissed him and bit his tongue, hard. Harry cried out in pain, or would have tried but Draco merely dove deeper into his mouth. God he hated this, god he loved it.

"Potter, say it." Draco breathed.

"I'm- I'm your whore Draco, your faggot, I'm a dirty little whore." Harry choked and Draco smiled sweetly.

"There, not so hard? The truth never is you little fuck." And with that Draco began tearing his own clothes off, and then he turned Harry's legs up and positioned himself. Harry felt the cold air and the cold stone beneath him and shivered, but god he wanted this, no he didn't want it. He** needed **it, pain was the only thing that told him he still lived…

_Keep hoping_

_ Nothing to spare_

_ So my life_

Isn't quite there 

"It's all about this Harry, your worthlessness, your inability to cope, everything about you is gone, you are mine, and have no other purpose." Harry shuddered, and sighed as Draco fill him.__

_ Feel like a whore_

_ A dirty whore_

_ Such a whore_

_ Dirty_

It hurt, but if didn't it would be reality would it? Reality was pain, it was all so wrong and distraught, it was pain and death and suffering, that was life, and so Harry was living.

"What do you want Potter?" Draco whispered huskily, no matter how much he fooled himself, he knew Potter let him dominate him, but he didn't know the depths of Harry's depravity. His body was white alabaster, and shoved against the healthy almost tan of Harry's body it seemed odd, but god Potter was hot-

Literally, he burned, and it was tight and- Draco thrummed with pleasure and slammed in roughly.

_ My head_

_ By myself_

_ All alone_

The room was quiet except for the hurried breathing of the two boy, the smell of sweat and sex and blood was everywhere and it was horrible, except to Harry, it smelled like the elixir of life, and to him it was.__

_ Ripping my head off_

_ I hurt so bad inside_

_ I wish you could see_

_ The world through in my eyes_

He could tell that release was near, on two levels, so very close, and yet the last…

_ It stays the same_

_ I just wanna live again_

He only wanted to live, to be real, but he couldn't, he knew that now, knew that he'd never be normal again. Death followed him everywhere, but maybe he could make it right. He could die and live at the same time, death would be the ultimate pain and the ultimate blessing, it would be the greatest paradox ever, and the greatest reward too. Draco filled him and he felt as close to content as he thought he'd ever feel.

_ I'll die again_

_ I'll die again_

_ I'll wilt again_

_ Into you_

"Draco, take me harder." Harry whispered and Draco obliged, for all his acting Harry like it when he played rough, he knew that. If only he truly knew though, Harry reflected, would he still- Who cared? It was soon to be over anyways…

_ You dirty little fuck_

In, this time harder, Harry bit his tongue to stop from crying out.__

_ Dirty little fuck_

Again, ever harder, it was defiling, it as horrible, it was a depravity that no human should sink to, it was the corruption of a beautiful act between lovers, a demeaning of something that was the essence of humanity, perverting love into a bizarre toy of torture, an instrument of the hardest kind of pain thinkable- __

_ You dirty little fuck_

It was wonderful…

_ Dirty little fuck_

"God Draco, take me harder." He choked out, it was all the pain could allow.

_ You dirty little fuck_

Draco smiled and delivered, and this time Harry couldn't stop himself from crying so loud it hurt his throat.

_ I will take it_

Soon Draco swelled with pleasure, it felt so hot so tight- Harry's ass seemed to suck the cum right out of him, Harry only felt an odd tightness, he knew that his pleasure centers were being hit, but it hurt and his mind was fucked and he felt so raw and bleeding and- right…__

_ I hurt so bad inside_

_ I wish you could see_

_ The world through my eyes_

Harry barked and let fly all over his stomach and Draco suddenly exploded into Harry, and Harry could feel it mingle with his pain and he was only dimly aware of the pain leaving him, and he began to cry again. Draco sighed, Harry always did this, he was sure it was some sort of guilt trip thing the boy wonder had, and normally what would happen was he would kiss Harry gently and then take the boy to bed, after all he had to take care of his fuck buddy didn't he?__

_ It stays the same_

_ I just wanna live again_

Harry smiled through his tears then, and Draco suddenly looked unsure.

"You're a fool Draco, oh dear Draco." Harry's voice was high pitched and had a cackling quality. "You have it all so-" He snagged Draco's face and brought it close to his, and his emerald eyes burned with the oddest quality, one that seemed to make Draco dizzy and sick at the same time "-very wrong." Draco stared at him in fear for a second.

"Pain is how I live my poor deluded boy, don't fret, your flesh tastes so sweet in me, pain is how we survive, pain defines me, you define me." There was an odd quality to Harry's voice now, one of fanaticism, one of pure deep lust and need, one of desolation and-

"You are a fool, but tell me Draco, will you feel me this?" Harry smiled. "See my demons-" And Draco stood paralyzed as Harry grabbed his wand, and then spoke a couple words, before shoving it through his heart. Blood, blood everywhere- Harry smiled and thought his last thought before darkness overwhelmed him.

God I'm so dirty it burns… 

TBC…


	2. Trash

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Korn.

A/N-This one is more from Draco's POV, and if things ever seem bright, remember that an eclipse has the most effect when the sun is brightest… And I noticed that there are over 100 hits, don't be scared of reviewing for my sake please…

**TRASH**

_How did it start?_

_ Well I don't know_

_ I just feel the craving_

_ I see flesh and it smells fresh_

_ and it's just there for the taking_

Oh god oh god oh god oh god- Draco's mind was racing, his heart was beating so hard it hurt, he felt his worlds shudder with each resounding hit, his rib cage felt to confining, his breathing was to hard- spots were beginning to appear. He had no control, it was all spiraling, the room as falling and his feet couldn't hold him any longer-

"Mr. Malfoy, hold still!" Madam Pomfrey snapped and then muttered a spell with her wand. Draco felt his world return to normal and then he fell to the floor.

"Oh god, why why why why-" Draco mumbled incoherently to himself. It made no sense and there was so very much blood on him. He stared dully at Harry who was pale and withdrawn, his stare was vacant and his eyes held nothing, nothing at all within them…

_ These little girls,_

_ they make me feel so goddamn exhilarated_

_ I fill them up, I can't give it up_

_ To me, I'm just erasing_

Draco stood as Madam Pomfrey left the room and walked over to Harry. For a moment he stared at him and then began to tremble.

"What the fuck were you thinking Potter? What is wrong with you?" Draco whispered, there was no vehemence in his voice, it was a whisper from a time where life was simpler, no more. He gently reached out to trace a line down Harry's face and felt a chill run through the core of his being.

This was _wrong…_

_ I tell my lies, and I despise_

_ every second I'm with you_

_ So I run away_

_ and you still stay_

_ So what the fuck is with you?_

What had Potter meant, pain was how we defined ourselves? It was ludicrous, in incredibly false statement, right? What was wrong with Potter… Draco shifted his head and looked at Harry from a different angle, as if hoping to find something different within his face.

"It's odd just how become what we are isn't it?" A whisper spoke next to him and he whirled around.

"Who- what?" The whisper chuckled and a sense of great amusement permeated the air around him, and it stifled him. The fern by the window began to twist and turn until it had changed into a face, a green leafy face.

"Careful Draco, oh so careful, I'll not let you two escape your fate."

"I do not believe in fate." Draco dismissed the suggestion coldly.

"Oh my dear boy, when will you learn that it doesn't matter what **you** believe, but what those around you believe?" The ferns chuckled and then vanished, until the wall twisted into that same masking face.

"You are so very confused my dear child, why do ask these questions? Ah but humans must ever ask no? And yet- and yet-" The voice stalled and for a time silence held sway over the room. "Seek to find the grain of truth Draco, seek to find Twilight. And when you do, meet me where the walls are weak and journey to the other side, and then back again because there are millions of worlds, but in-between them, only Twilight…" the voice sang in an odd lyrical manner that made Draco's skin crawl.

"Until then, don't let the ice consume you…" The voice sighed and drifted and the wall fell to normal. And then he was alone, with Harry again.

_ Your feelings_

_ I can't help but rape them_

_ I'm sorry, I don't feel the same_

_ My heart inside is constantly hating_

_ I'm sorry, I just throw you away_

"Dra-Draco?" Harry mumbled and Draco jumped, what the fuck was with this day? Last night and now… He couldn't even remember getting Harry down here, but he must have…

"You fucking IDIOT!" Draco bellowed, as his anger and confusion ran to the forefront of his emotions. "What the hell did you think you were doing you fucking moron!" He screamed at Harry, Harry looked terrified and as Draco yelled Harry began to look odd…__

_ I don't know why I'm so fucking cold_

_ I don't know why its hurts me_

_ All I wanna is get with you and make the pain go away_

_ Why do I have a conscience?_

_ All it does is fuck with me_

_ Why do I have this torment?_

_ All I wanna do is fuck it away_

Draco wanted Harry then, he looked more alone and afraid then Draco had ever seen, and there was something so sensual and sexual about Harry when he looked frightened, something that made his blood run like magma, something that burned in the back of his throat and in his loins, something so primal and wild it was the beast in him.

"Potter, you're a fool." Draco was enraged, the foolish bastard could have gotten him, **him,** Draco Malfoy expelled! He looked at Harry and missed the odd frightened insane quality in Harry's eyes, only saw his face and his delicious face and smelled his scent, wild breezes and sweat, and something intangible that drove him wild all the same.

"Potter, be with me." Harry had nearly died and Draco just couldn't help himself, he needed Harry so intensely he _hurt _when Harry wasn't around him, it was lust of course, it could be nothing else, a Malfoy didn't fall in love with such a goody two shoes. Harry began to laugh slowly, and then his face turned serious, so quickly that it was beyond unnatural, it was a perversion of nature.

"OH Draco, when will you learn, now I must do it again, but this time I think I'll go out at the height of orgasm. I want you to fuck me Draco-" Harry rose out of bed and suddenly was pinning Draco against the wall with a strength that a convalescent shouldn't have, super human strength.

"And I want to ride out this life at the tip of my orgasm as you hurt me more deeply than humanly possible, make me be alive as I die Draco, it's more than anyone has ever done for me." Harry whispered fiercely and kissed Draco with a passion that was unmatched, it was raw hot and wild. He sucked life out of Draco's lungs and found it to be intoxicating.

"Take me out of this world Draco, and make it good…" A soft coo full of madness, it was the doorway to another place, and it scared Draco.__

_ I tell my lies, and I despise every second I'm with you_

_ So I run away and you still stay_

_ So what the fuck is with you?_

_ Your feelings_

_ I can't help but rape them_

_ I'm sorry, I don't feel the same_

_ My heart inside is constantly hating_

_ I'm sorry, I just throw you away_

"What is wrong with you Potter?" Draco finally said as he tore his lips away from Harry's sweet hot mouth. God Harry made him hot and horny, but this… Draco didn't truly have morals anymore, they were buried under years of masks that shielded him from his mother and his life in general. Lucius was actually quite kind when not in public, but Narcissa… She was the ice goddess, the Bride of Voldemort when the time came, something that Lucius had long ago acknowledged. 

But this, this was wrong, it was worse than anything Draco had ever seen, it felt dirty in a way that crawled beneath his skin and made him want to cry out and scrape the very flesh from his body.

_ I tell my lies, and I despise_

_ every second I'm with you_

_ So I run away_

_ and you still stay_

_ So what the fuck is with you?_

"No." It was hard, the hardest thing that Draco had ever done, to reject Harry, but he couldn't… He didn't want to explain it, didn't want to explore it, but actually killing, damaging someone like that, Draco felt sickened, so sickened he almost retched then and there, it was disgusting to him, it repelled him deeply…

Harry stared at him, lost and alone, what was going on? Pain had left, Draco was leaving, his life was gone, shamble ruins burning need Desire Want FRUSTRATION **ANGER HURT RAGE! **_Loneliness…_

_ Your feelings_

_ I can't help but rape them_

_ I'm sorry, I don't feel the same_

_ My heart inside is constantly hating_

_ I'm sorry, I just throw you away_

And Draco stormed from the room, leaving Harry to collapse on his knees, delirious and broken, his mind and spirit gone… He twitched and fell to the floor, and his mind was cracked, and far away Voldemort snapped his neck as a surge of raw insanity caused his body to fall down a long flight of stairs.

_ Just throw you away_

_I am alone,_ Harry thought, _God I never thought it would be so cold…_

REDEMPTION 

"Severus, can you cure him?" Dumbledore asked softly. His robes were blue today, blue and deep, they were like the iciest arctic ocean and looked cold and warm at the same time, his ancient face was creased with sorrow, and yet a tinge of relief. They had good reason for relief.

"I don't know." Severus replied softly. His hands trembled as he caressed his arm, and he looked at it again, he still couldn't believe it. It was clean, the Dark Mark was gone, Voldemort was dead… The greatest Dark Wizard of the century, the heir to the power of Salazar Slytherin, was dead. A wizard that had conquered death once, and had held thousands upon thousands of wizards and witched under the clammy grip of raw panic was dead, of having his neck snapped.

Severus vaguely remembered taking Dumbledore there, to where Voldemort had died, they had captured Pettigrew who had been in shock over his master's death. Along with the rest of the Order of the Phoenix and Fudge, the great bumbling oaf, they had proof that Sirius Black was innocent, had captured a few high-ranking Death Eaters and had secured Voldemort's body. Dumbledore had taken his wand, and Snape wondered what he would do with it. 

Over the summer the disappearances had been- well Fudge had come crawling back to Dumbledore by the beginning of the school, and was due to be ousted for his failure to protect the wizarding world. Aside from internal pressure, there was external, none of the other ministries wished for such incompetence in their English counterpart.

"But I can damn well try." Dumbledore nodded, it was the most they could ask of any of them.

"Harry, oh god Harry-" Hermione choked. The tears were running thick down her cheeks, she couldn't believe it. Harry lay there, his eyes open, he was breathing, but aside from that he was catatonic. Madam Pomfrey had cast a charm that kept his eyes moist, but aside from that there was nothing they could do yet. Hermione turned and collapsed into Ron's arms.

Ron sat there, holding Hermione in his lap and staring at his friend.

"Why Harry? What happened? Why did you do this to yourself?" Ron mumbled into Hermione's hair. He felt one gnarled old hand place itself gently on his shoulder.

"Do not worry Ron, we will do all we can to help Harry. I have place a call to St. Mungo's and as you heard, each member of the staff is conspiring to find a way to help Harry, and you too can do your part as well. Since both of you do very well with finding things, have these." Dumbledore gave them two worn stones that felt warm in Ron's hand, they both had an odd rune carved into them.

"These will allow you to portkey to the teacher's library anytime you need to for research, and allow you access to any book from the Restricted Section, I trust you will use them well." Ron nodded and Hermione stood up.

"Yes-" She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes, which were puffy and red from crying. "We **will** help Harry, no matter what, come on Ron." She grabbed her stone and concentrated before vanishing. Ron did the same and Dumbledore sighed and looked at Harry.

"When will you come out Harry-" Dumbledore began before stopping. He looked at Harry a little closer and then leaned back to close his eyes. For a second the room seemed to twist around him and space seemed to bend _inward-_

"Oh my." 

Lucius slammed a hand into the door, hard. It hurt, it felt good.

"DAMN!" He yelled. Narcissa had just- HE HATED THAT WOMAN! He pulled out his wand and began hexing things left and right, this room was specially stocked with breakable things that held no value, the elves could have it back and neat within minutes of any member of the family needing to use it, but this time Lucius was blasting holes in the wall. Magic ran strong in the Malfoy blood, and Lucius was no exception, he was a powerful wizard in his own right, certainly not as weak as his son or as choppy as his wif-

"DAMN HER!" And power exploded from his wand and the room shook. This was not magic casting, this was not spells. Every wizard has the ability in times of great stress to cast magic with just want, when the need was great enough… Very few wizards throughout the course of history had ever learned to control it. 

Merlin, Hufflepuff herself, Dumbledore, Nicholas Flamel, Voldemort, Slytherin himself, Ravenclaw herself… He reflected with a certain amount of satisfaction that Griffyndor had never had the ability. Of course, Griffyndor had other strengths…

"Speaking of which…" Nothing was hidden from Lucius, he held strings that not even Voldemort had been aware of, he had known from the start that Voldemort might lose, and had prepared accordingly. Everything Lucius did was a coldly calculate assault, or an order from a superior, like that bitch-

"Damn you Narcissa-" He started again and stopped. The Dark Lord was _dead._ He held no more power over Lucius and therefore, neither did she… He smiled, now he could concentrate on gaining true power, and finally gain something that lead to true power, respect.

But first he had to deal with his son, and what his son had been doing to the Potter boy. Lucius frowned and leaned back, Draco was becoming far to, ruthless, for his tastes, he would have to soften the boy. A gentle touch was always preferable to a stern one, a gentle touch was oh so subtler and ultimately required more intellect, and almost always yielded better results.

This would require a very gentle touch, he rose up and went to the library, he bet there was one book he had that Dumbledore would never be caught possessing. He smiled as he found it, locked on its pedestal with chains and magic seals. He took a small plate and heated it to a dull cherry with a simple spell. He then levitated it onto a pedestal, and placed a small amount of oil and rosemary on it.

And then he carefully cut a small incision in his palm, and dripped a little blood on it before healing his hand. The mixture swirled and suddenly the chains dropped from the book and it opened. Lucius sighed, and prepared for a battle.

The Grimiore of Mentis Tempero was outlawed in many wizarding countries, although many high-ranking officials kept copies and careful tabs kept on them. Many had been destroyed after Grindewald's rise to power using many of its spells of control, spells that made Imperio look weak and petty. These were spells that could inspire fierce loyalty that the subject didn't even know they were being enchanted. The require power though, power that very few had. Lucius held that power, for he had bested the book once, and knew some of its secrets.

The book fought him still though, as he tried to read it he could feel his mind grow weary and unfocused, the book was seeking to control him. He beat it back with his willpower and read until he found what he sought.

"Yes, this should help the old Muggle Loving Fool." Lucius growled, and sighed. The things he did for his son…

Peter Pettigrew, or Wormtail as he actually preferred, sat in his cell in Azkaban, and his mind stewed. His master was dead, his life was gone, Sirius would be a free man soon and he- he would get the Dementors. He could already feel sadness and despair overwhelming him and he clenched his silver hand tightly. He felt alone, desperately alone-

And then angry. His anger manifested itself, and he violently screamed and flailed about his cell, the anger giving him strength and burning his mind clear of the power of the Dementors. Outside his cell the Dementors watched him, and then one opened the cell. They spread apart, and Wormtail smiled.

"Thank you my friends, soon I shall reward you beyond what even Voldemort could imagine." The Dementors seemed to confer and then one of them offered him his wand. Peter took it and stared at it and then shook his head slowly.

"No, I think that this won't do at all." He looked up at them.

"I must request one last favor, lend me power my friends, please." The Dementors suddenly looked uncertain until Peter transfigured a small rock into a knife and cut his silver hand. The knife couldn't penetrate at first so he cast another spell on it, and when it did he felt no pain, but silvery blood gushed forth from the wound. And then-

"Now!" He shouted and the Dementors pushed their power into him, it was raw magical energy and Peter cried out-

He stared at his hand gleefully, and the burning wand that glowed in his forearm.

"Release the prisoners, and I shall deal with the guards, let the Rising begin."

And then there were only shadows…

Shout Outs-

Tini- Sorry, it didn't make me think of Lucius, but I'm including him, that song was actually the one I was listening to and thought that I should make a song-fic out of it, but then I listened to Dirty, and it worked better for the first chapter.

Mizzy- I learned a new word! Elegiac! And I shall continue, and I think that I shall be off to review your new chapter now.

Jivanna- Hey there you go, some Draco POV along with a couple other bonuses, hope you enjoyed it.

T.K. Yuy- Of course I plan on continuing it, and thanks for those adjectives, they are feeding the furnace of ideas I have burning holes in my head and leaking onto the hard-drive. 

Anne- Thank you, it's nice to know that is as depressing as I tried to make it. Darker then black, ok there's another idea… 

Thank you everyone for your reviews!

A/N- I will probably churn out a couple more chapters quickly and then they'll come more slowly. But the more reviews I get the more fueled I feel, although I'll keep writing no matter what. But reviews are so nice…


	3. Searching...

Disclaimer- I don't own Korn or Harry Potter.

A/N- No song in this chapter… Hmmm… Lucius is hard to write, I hope you like him. Please Review!

SEARCHING… 

"Dumbledore." The voice ran out, strong and soft, but the sort of softness that was silken steel, it was a softness that could kill. Lucius didn't storm into the Great Hall, he floated through it, his presence commanding attention and a certain amount of fear mingled with almost awe. Snape turned a watchful angry eye to the man as he slid up next to Dumbledore.

"Lucius, to what do I owe this- pleasure." Dumbledore's voice was strong as well, and forceful. The sheer power of the old man was such that a couple of the teachers grew uncomfortable. A sort of silence rippled through the school and nearly everyone was looking at the two. And the one who should have been paying the most attention wasn't, he was entranced by his won thoughts, as morbid as they were.

Draco didn't look good. His beautiful hair was disheveled and his gaze was blank. He ate like a perfect machine, all mechanics. Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other over him, they were protecting Draco as best they could, but they couldn't protect him from his own father.

"Draco, your dad's here." Goyle said softly. Draco looked up and froze, Lucius. Lucius was there, talking to Dumbledore, and they looked tense, no, Dumbledore looked furious. Oh god- Draco could feel panic welling up inside of him and he felt sick-

He quickly rose and quietly slid into a hallway of shadows before running to a boy's bathroom where he could empty his breakfast, which he did several times.

"You what?" Dumbledore's voice was soft and murderous.

"I repeat, I opened my copy of that book, and did some research." Dumbledore eyed him with ancient fury.

"So you're the reason why-" Lucius shut him off with a wave of his hand.

"If you stopped being such an old Mudblood lov-" beside him appeared Hagrid whose mere presence was menacing. Lucius sighed.

"Very well, I can see I am not wanted, I shall leave." _Idiotic fools! I was willing to help them and all they can fucking see is their own-_

"Hold Lucius." Snape said and went up to him. "You wouldn't have come here unless-" and he went quiet, and looked at Lucius. Lucius glanced quickly towards the Slytherin table and then stared intently at a point on Snape's forehead, and then smiled meaningfully. Snape's eyes widened, and Dumbledore's narrowed.

"Severus-"

"Albus, look at him, and I mean _look."_ The emphasis on the word was missed by many, but a select few knew what it meant. Dumbledore calmed himself, and peered intently at Lucius, and then with a sudden intake of breath his eyes flared wide.

"Lucius, I must owe you an apology, I am sorry." Lucius' eyes widened, Dumbledore, a man he had tried to kill before, a man who he had fought against for years and must know that he wasn't guilty, had just apologized to him.

"Oh- well I yes that is-" Lucius fumbled with his robes, and then Dumbledore stood.

"I believe it is time for classes, goodbye everyone." Then he gestured to Filch who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He whispered something in his ear and the man nodded. He left quickly with Ms. Norris and then they split up.

"Come Lucius, let us go to my office."

"Hey Hermione, Ron, how's Harry?" Asked Parvati. Hermione choked again and Ron sighed.

"He's doing no better, but at least no worse." Ron said softly. Seamus sat down next to Ron and put an arm around him, while Dean did the same to Hermione. Soon the entire fifth year of Griffyndor was sitting together, all thinking about Harry.

"So this- this should do it, it has some ingredients that I can't fathom though, why a scale from a mermaid? And-" Snape frowned. "When is the next full moon?" Dumbledore stroked his beard.

"Two weeks from now." Snape nodded. 

"I need you to call Lupin and get him here, we need the hair of a werewolf at the height of the full moon." With that Snape went back to reading Lucius' neat and cursive handwriting.

"Ah yes, and now Lucius, I must once again apologize for how I acted earlier, and now I would know, why do this?" Dumbledore asked, and Lucius was surprised. The Dark Lord had rarely bothered to ask, he merely ripped the knowledge he wanted from a person's mind, and that was that. He would have scoffed and said Dumbledore was weak, but he knew that that was as far from the truth as anything else…

"I only ever do anything for three reasons Dumbledore." Dumbledore looked at him. "If I am forced to and if it benefits me." Dumbledore smiled softly then.

"And the third Lucius?"

"For Draco, anything, I would have killed Voldemort himself."

"And why didn't you?" Lucius smiled then.

"Who said I didn't plan to?"

When Lucius left later that day to return to his lodgings in Hogsmeade, he was exhausted but felt better than he had in months. That verbal sparring with the old fuck had been- interesting, invigorating was more like it actually. He had had his mind truly stimulated, something that rarely happened. He would like to play chess with the old coot sometime.

When he got to the town he went to the Owlry and picked out an owl to carry a quick message to Draco. After sending it off he began to stroll down the street, and stopped suddenly in shock.

He'd been _whistling!_ He hadn't whistled in years, it had been a stupid habit that- He stopped. But he'd enjoyed doing it just now, maybe- aw what the fuck, did it really matter, he could damn well whistle if he pleased…

"Lavender, are you sure about this?" Parvati asked, and Lavender nodded. Hermione sat by them, a bemused expression on her face while Skadi and Jessica[i] looked excited.

"Are you two sure about this?" Jessica asked nervously and Hermione snorted.

"Fuck off 'Mione." Parvati said absentmindedly, making Hermione sniff and then smile.

"I'll try anything at this point, we can all contribute in our own way." With that said Lavender and Parvati poured out the tea into a saucer. Swiftly Parvati pulled out a pin and pricked herself on the finger, wincing while she did so, and squeezed a thin trickle of blood into the saucer. Lavender followed her footsteps.

Then Lavender gesture to Skadi who moved over her cauldron with a flick of her wand and ladled out a small spoonful of whatever was in there, it was a weak pink that as soon as it touched the tea and blood turned a deep emerald green, the same color as Harry's eyes.

It was then that Lavender dropped 5 hairs from Harry's head onto the saucer, they immediately burst into flames and the saucer bubbled angrily for a couple seconds before calming.

"Blood of mine conjure, hair of victim speak, the future is a blur, but show me what I seek!" With that Parvati whipped out a polished black opal tied to a string of Unicorn hair. She dangled it over the saucer and it began to change shapes. Lavender wrote down each as fast as she could, along with Jessica, Skadi and Hermione. Finally the shapes stopped changing and the saucer stopped moving, but the stone was jerking wildly. The four girls looked anxiously at Parvati who was breathing heavily, until she suddenly threw her head back and spoke.

"Serpent's eye, serpents fly

Light the way to dusty death

The hand of betrayal be the carrier

Spirits of no mortal bearing

Deception of the cruelest nature

Let the broken mind love

The frozen soul."

"That is a dangerous man Fawkes." Dumbledore said softly. The phoenix continued to preen, but its eyes glittered in a way that showed it was listening. "He is a wild card, something to watch out for."

Dumbledore leaned back and let the chair comfort him, he'd bought it many years ago, and it was something that fit his personality. He put his hands together and appeared to drift of into sleep for a moment, and then his eyes opened wide.

"Ah Lucius, you know don't you?"

Hagrid tossed the bone for Fang, and watched as the dog ran after it. He sighed wearily and felt tears run down his cheeks. Poor Harry, suddenly he felt strong arms slide around his waist and a beautiful low husky voice whisper in his ear.

"Oh Rubeus, what is ze matter?" Hagrid turned and hugged Madam Maxine to him tightly.

"Oh Olympe, it's Harry, he's gone of and gone crazy!" Madam Maxine shushed him gently and then he proceeded to spill the story to her, and by the end of it he felt much better and she had an idea.

"Professor Snape?" Snape looked up from his list, and was face to face with a beautiful girl, a girl who was almost unearthly in her beauty. Vaguely he recognized her as one of the contestants from the Tournament last year, and marveled at how- adult she looked.

"Yes my dear?" He said softly. The girl chuckled.

"I am Fleur Delacour, professor Snape, and is a pleasure to meet one so well known as 'ou." Snape nodded and licked his lips, and was consciously aware of how, bad, he looked, He had the sudden impulse to wash his hair and get some sun, but he showed no nervousness. He could hold any impulse in check, spying on the Voldemort had taught him that.

"May I ask why you are here, these dreary dungeons are no place for such a lovely lady like yourself." Fleur smiled a little at Snape's flattery.

"I 'ear that 'Arry is sick, I am 'ere to 'elp him as I know a few things about potions, and more importantly, as a Veela, I can 'elp." Snape nodded slowly.

"Very well then, please do come with me." Fleur's eyes widened. "And do please excuse my French, it has been-" He paused. "Several years at least since I last used it." Fleur smiled.

"I think we will have an- interesting time working together Professor Snape." She responded in French. He smiled.

"Please, Severus." She nodded.

"And I am Fleur, now let us cure 'Arry."

"Snape, where is he?" Snape clucked nervously and looked at Lucius.

"Lucius, I must ask-" Lucius sighed.

"Severus, I am not going to hurt my son, that is the bitch's duty." He growled. Snape raised an eyebrow and winced at the expression on Lucius' face. "Now where is my son?" He snapped. Snape nodded.

"Come on then."

Draco stared at the wall, the cold hard stone. There was a chip on the 15th stone down, it made a shape the resembled a flower. He looked at it. It was dirty; the grit was thick there. Draco looked, vacant. He didn't appear sad, mad, happy, he didn't have emotion, he didn't even look apathetic. He just looked like he wasn't there. The door slammed open roughly and Draco jumped, panic making his entire body go cold as his father swept into the room.

"We need to talk." He shut the door. Draco stared at him apprehensively. Lucius frowned. "God damn it boy stop looking at me like I'm about to torture you!" Lucius snapped. Draco winced and then stopped. Why did he let this bother him? Nothing mattered any more. Listening to what Harry had told him, people didn't need to feel, people didn't need to live. So therefore, neither did he. He looked calmly at Lucius.

"Yes father?" Lucius raised and eyebrow, and then frowned.

"Draco I-" He stopped and then sighed. "Draco, the Dark Lord is dead. I am- I have done terrible things; I cannot say I regret them. At the time… I was so steeped in blood- I couldn't stop, if I had, it would have been my death, and later on, yours. Voldemort would have killed all I held dear, and then he would have made my life hell. I have no real redeeming qualities, but I will not hurt you Draco, I have spent my whole life protecting you." Lucius stopped for a moment.

"But for your own sake, be careful with the Potter boy." And he left, saying that had cost him, and he felt all the worse for it. It had felt wrong, weak almost. But it had been necessary, and Lucius would do anything for his son. Draco stared at the door for a moment, and then looked at the crack. A flower? No… It was death unfolding.

Slowly, the room grew colder.

Shout Outs-

Jivanna- Thanks for the luck, and the anticipation is over! Nice to know it's interesting, one of the things I aimed for.

Meitama Rouko- Yeah, I noticed how so many times Narcissa is the loving mother who really does care for Draco underneath but Lucius beats her horribly and she can't do anything about while Lucius is second only to Voldemort in evil. I am trying to switch that, but maintain their personas. And sorry about spelling and grammar everyone! I don't have a beta and I really don't have the patience to read more than a paragraph into my chapters… But it I had a volunteer…

Emma- Intense, I like that word, and here's more!

me ()- Well I kept writing, hope you like it.

SophieB.- Better than AD? Any reason why? And if people get confused let me know, there are ways to change the fic, and sometimes I have it all in my head, but only half gets down on the paper. And I will be taking it… somewhere… I think… But yes… Hee hee!

Liberty- "Bloody fantastic" has such a nice ring to it… You know your review was written rather poetically, and I am glad that I am combining your three favorite things, I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as you are now.

Thank you everyone who reviewed, and those who didn't? Well now's your chance! Send me your email or leave it in the review if you want to get updates!

Next Chapter- Giving In… And what does that mean? Let's just say people give in to their desires… With sometimes horrible consequences…

  


* * *

[i] I read in the Harry Potter Lexicon somewhere that there should be two more girls in Harry's year in Griffyndor. It makes sense, there are five boys in Harry's dorm, so there should be five girls. And when Lupin is teaching, there are two extra unexplained femal apparitions when they are Boggart training, and it is an only Griffydnor class. So my two are Skadi and Jessica.


	4. Giving In

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Korn, Harry Potter, Terry Pratchett's books or Adema.

A/N- Hmm… I don't know? Well if you lose hope, remember that sunlight has the most affect right after the eclipse, cheesy but just remember that. And my spell-check won't work so if there are spelling mistakes will you email me or leave them in the reviews? Thank you!

GIVING IN 

Harry tossed and turned in his bed, his body was sweating hard, and he was breathing fast and furious. His mouth was wide open and his tongue was dried out, his skin shone with a furious sheen of just wetness. His black hair was matted to his head and his eyes were wide open, tears falling out of them freely, their brilliant emerald shine was no dull and vacant.

But the most disturbing of all was that his scar was glowing a furious deep red. It was the red of dried blood encrusted on sand, and it was a terrible color.

Inside his own mind Harry was trapped, why was he still alive? Why all of this? He should have died; Draco should have let him die. He couldn't face anything now, the darkness was all consuming. Why couldn't they let him die, Voldemort was dead he'd served his purpose right?

Right?

Will you, walk me 

_To the edge again?_

_Shaking, lonely, and I am drinking again_

_Woke up tonight and no one's here with me_

_I'm giving in to you_

Draco couldn't sleep, something was tearing him up inside, he hurt in a way that he couldn't place. DAMN IT! He swore to himself furiously and tossed the covers aside, relishing the feel of the cool air of the dorm room flowing over his pale skin.

His pale skin covered in blood-

"Wha-" He choked out, there was blood all over him, all over his hands all over his legs his body… And suddenly Harry was there, his ass resting solidly with Draco inside him, Harry facing him. He was crying and smiling and he was bleeding, and the blood.

The blood was everywhere and Draco was drowning in and then Harry leaned in to kiss him and-

He awoke and his bare flesh crawled as he shuddered at the images that had beset him. He tossed and turned, his skin was hot and the covers were smothering him. He finally flung them off and made his way out of the dorm. He began to walk, his bare feet padding softly on the floor.

From the shadows Argus Filch watched him pass, and grimaced. He had specific orders not to stop Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley or Hermione Granger from going anywhere until Harry was better.

Take me under 

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm dying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

Draco didn't know where he was going, he just knew he had to get away, god he could smell it on his skin, could feel it within his bones. It was buried deep within him and covered him. He felt suddenly nauseous and stopped to bend over and clutch his stomach. God it hurt.

How could someone love pain? It just- it _hurt._ Draco couldn't understand it, and yet whenever he tried to think of something else, green eyes broke into his thoughts…

_Watch me crumble_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm crying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

Harry tossed again, his body spasming, as his broken mind retreated further in upon itself. The world began to change, the darkness became shapes, there were colors and suddenly it all stopped. It became a wasteland, and Harry stood in the middle of it.

And then it began to freeze. It got cold and ice crept around on the ground, slowly choking the last vestige of warmth except the ground surrounding Harry. Harry looked at the ice, and saw it for what it was, saw it for the loneliness it represented. It was the antipathy of life, it was antithesis of feeling, it was nothingness. 

_Caught up, in life_

_Losing all my friends_

_Family has tried, to heal all my addictions_

_Tragic it seems, to be alone again_

_I'm giving in to you_

It was a blessing, and Harry gave into it.

In the room around him, tiny icicles formed on his body, his temperature lowering to dangerous levels.

And he smiled.

_Take me under_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm dying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

Draco was struck with urgency, he knew he had to hurry, he didn't know why, but he had to go, had to-

"Oh god." Those eyes were back, those emerald eyes, green glacial meadows that blinded with their soft shadows, Draco was entranced, and he knew who it was.

"Harry." He whispered and ran to the infirmary as fast as he could.

_Watch me crumble_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm crying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

Lucius tossed the shot back, and settled into the warm chair, the fire crackling before him as he tied the robe tighter around himself. God it felt cold in here all of a sudden.

His thoughts of course drifted to Draco, his precious boy… Draco was- Lucius couldn't explain it, Draco was going to everything he never could, he would kill anyone that stood in his son's way. Oh sure he had been a little harsh with the boy, Draco had always needed more backbone. He had a true gift for ruthlessness and nastiness in general, along with an ambition that put Lucius to shame.

He only needed time, to be cultivated into a great and powerful wizard. But this… Lucius was no stranger to, unpleasant, activities. He had killed before, killed innocents, tortured them long past the boundaries of anything resembling humanity. He couldn't redeem himself from those, incidents, but he could damn well make sure Draco was safe from it all…

"What will you be Draco?" Lucius whispered, and tossed another shot back and let the warmth of the alcohol spread through him.

_(Oh fuck)_

Ron clutched his pillow to his chest. God he worried about Harry, Harry was his _best_ friend. Sure he and Hermione were gret buddies, but Harry… Harry meant more to him than he'd ever let on. He had even had a crush on Harry for a while, but realized that something about the two of them just seemed… Off in some way.

Ron drifted into a form of sleep, and then was bombarded by the strangest image. Harry was standing in the midst of an ice land, the ground twisted into bizarre shapes that cast horrible shadows on the ground. It made him feel uncomfortable to say the least. And then the ice crept past him, but didn't touch him, he didn't want it.

And then it reach Harry. Harry stared at it and Ron opened his mouth to call out to him, but was stopped.

"Hush boy, this is his choice, you can only take action after he has decided." A voice spoke, and Ron looked wildly around him for it. Then he looked to Harry who had a second ago been standing in the middle of an unfrozen spot.

He was glued to the spot as he watched the ice creep up the body of his greatest friend, and cried at the expression on Harry's face.

He was smiling in pure ecstacy.

_I look forward, to dying tonight_

_Drinks still on myself, life's harder every day_

_The stress has got me_

_I'm giving in_

_Giving_

_Giving in now!_

Ice, there was ice everywhere! Harry could feel himself being pushed into a vast pit where feelings were gone. He could hear a thumping though, an endless thumping that annoyed him, he couldn't concentrate, he couldn't become absolutely cold, he couldn't freeze, the thumping was still going on.

He needed it to stop. He willed the thumping to stop, willed the ice to crawl all over him, his mind broke and-

Harry died__

_Take me under_

_(I'm killing all the faith)_

_I'm dying tonight_

_(I'm sick of all that faith)_

_Watch me crumble_

_(I'm killing all the faith)_

_I'm crying tonight_

Draco skidded into Harry's room, and stared at the cold dead body of the boy, and froze. Pain fear anger grief- they all welled up within him, and Draco keened a great cry of sorrow.

I'm giving in to you 

_Take me under_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm dying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

_Watch me crumble_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm crying tonight_

He collapsed weakly against Harry, and held those beautiful cold hands to his cheek, his tears cascading over them. Why did this boy mean so much to him? He had been a good fuck yes and yet… Draco just didn't want anymore pain, didn't want anything more, didn't want any of this. Harry was gone, gone dead…

_I'm giving in to you_

_Take me under_

_I'm giving in to you_

_I'm dying tonight_

_I'm giving in to you_

Draco cried once more, and then stopped, he'd only been there a couple seconds, and then he took out a slender dagger from his waist, and quickly slashed his wrists, and watched the blood cascade down his slender white wrists, the deepest crimson that he'd ever seen, it was fascinating-

He collapsed into a timeless sleep.

Sometimes fate is very cruel…

A/N- You didn't think I'd end it right there did you?

FINDING 

"How is he?"

"He's doing fine Mr. Malfoy-"

"Then let me in to see him." A moment of silence.

"Mr. Malfoy, he is-"

"I **said** let me in to see him." Lucius Malfoy's voice held a promise of threats that shouldn't be heard by people that wished to keep any shred of sanity. Madam Pomfrey could stand up to any number of people. She was almost immune to the charms of students, if they ever pulled some sort of authority trip with her they would find themselves out of there **fast.** She could stall up teachers, had pushed back the Minister of magic himself! She had even gotten stern with Headmaster Dumbledore, and yet-

One look into the cold hard eyes of Lucius Malfoy told her that this man wouldn't take anything less than yes for an answer.

"If you want, you can keep an eye on me, I'll even leave the fucking door open." She gasped.

"Mr. Malfoy! Such language-" He grabbed her arm.

"I am no longer a student Ms. Pomfrey, do not think I am." Lucius growled before tossing her arm out of his hand, and opening the door. Inside was his son, Draco, lying prone on the bed, and on the next bed over was a boy, nothing more than a boy. A boy who looked, frozen, who looked so very peaceful… Lucius had seen many scary things in his life, and this struck him in the very heart of his soul.

"Dear god boy, what has been done to you?" He whispered and then shook his head. He knew damn well what had been done to the boy, he'd been part of it. He pushed the screams of those he'd killed to the side of his mind, and went to his son.

Draco looked nothing more than troubled. His brow was furrowed and his face scrunched with concern and pain left lines on his pale beautiful face. Lucius gently traced a line down his son's face, and then sighed.

He picked up one of Draco's wrists and looked at the angry red line across it. He would let Draco live with it for a time before getting a real medi-wizard to remove it. Lucius would have stalked out again, but then Snape came in followed by-

She was beautiful, her hair was just so and her eyes sparkled with mischief and her very walk made Lucius feel a tingle in his loins. His eeys grazed on her beauty like starved beasts, until he regained absolute control of himself.

"Severus." He nodded and then left. Snape watched him go and shook his head. Fleur looked at him.

"Who was that? Snape almost smiled, Fleur spoke French in an almost husky way, it was very appealing.

"He is Lucius Malfoy, one of the most dangerous men you'll ever meet." He looked at Harry. "Damn it Potter what have you done to yourself?"

"Ah Severus you're here!" Dumbledore breezed gently in the doorway followed by Madam Pomfrey.

"Is he gone?" She asked tremulously. Snape nodded. She sighed in relief and went back out. Snape turned an accusing gaze to Dumbledore.

"What happened Albus? Why is Draco here?" Dumbledore sighed, and his face creased with great pain and sorrow.

"Last night Mr. Malfoy was tormented by images and dreams about Harry. Ronald Weasley was subjected to dreams that Harry himself was living through, as was Hermione Granger, they both told me this morning. I myself I must admit was woken last night when I felt something was wrong. Harry had died." Snape and Fleur widened their eyes. "I got here within a couple seconds, but not before young Draco had slit his wrist." He cast a sad glance at the silvery head of Draco Malfoy.

"We were lucky, Harry was, as Muggles say, only clinically dead, I merely had to jolt his heart again, and then get him warm, as the most curious thing had happened to him. He had frost growing on him." Dumbledore trailed off. "Mr. Malfoy it was a simple measure of healing his wrists and giving him a potion that would put him into a sleep where his body could heal much quicker than normal." Dumbledore looked at the two of them.

"Now, do you have the coma breaker?" He asked. Fleur took out a small vial with what looked like mercury in it, but it sparkled in an odd way and caught the light so that it looked like gold mixed within the silver. She went over to Harry and parted his lips gently to pour the potion down his throat. Snape pointed his wand at Harry and muttered something and Harry swallowed the potion.

Fleur stepped back, and they watched. For a moment nothing happened, and then Harry's eyes opened, beautiful green that was as bewitching as it was hypnotic.

And were as scary as the depths of hell.

Harry looked at all of them, a crazed smile crafted across his face, and a delighted lost pained expression in his eyes. Fleur looked away and turned into Snape, putting her pretty head in the crook of his neck and shoulders. Snape looked unsure and then cautiously put his arms around her. Harry's face darkened.

Dumbledore stepped forward and looked Harry in the eye.

"Harry, Voldemort is-'

"Dead, I am well aware of that Headmaster." Harry said coldly. "Wormtail has taken his position and has actually freed Azkaban and taken control of the Dementors, which means I must kill him too." Dumbledore's eyes widened.

"Harry-"

"Ah Headmaster…" Harry said as if he was speaking to a child, an amused expression on his face. "I have finally realized I cannot die until I fulfill what is expected of me, I must kill Peter to rest fully." He hopped out of bed and gave Dumbledore a look that chilled him to the very core of his heart.

"I hope you realize this changes nothing." And then Harry left the room. Dumbledore sighed and sat down on the bed. Snape stroked Fleur's hair softly, and felt the warmth from her conflict with the cold fear that Harry's word struck in him.

"Harry!" Ron shouted and ran to grab The Boy Who Lived into a gigantic bear hug. Harry didn't move, just looked at Ron. Ron's smile faded until he looked confused.

"What?" He asked. Harry smirked. 

"Ron, this is for your own sake, don't get to attached to me again. Just pretend I did get to sleep." And then he left. Ron stared at Harry, and felt tears rush to his face, what was going on? He collapsed to his knees and held his head.

"Oh god Harry…"

The dark crept like insidious death across the town of Hogsmeade. It slunk up the streets and into the buildings. Lucius watched it and then turned to look at the castle. He looked at the book in his hand, and sighed.

The book in question was chained tight, it was a pure white book with a small eye on the front. If one looked close enough at the eye, it almost looked as if it moved, but one could never be totally sure.

Lucius took a swig from a bottle in his hand and then marched up to the castle, the Octavo burning cold in his hand.

Narcissa stared out at the stars, they were such cruel things. How could they shine with that light when her life was over? Her husband didn't love her, and her only protection was gone. Narcissa was not a good witch, oh she was definitely not a Squib, but she wasn't on Lucius' level. Nowhere near…

All she had were connections, her beauty and her mind. Voldemort himself had been amazed at how adept she was in figuring out the most complicated riddles and plans. She needed to leave now, and she had to get to somewhere safe. She knew exactly where too. She'd planned for this, the time that Voldemort might die, and she would have to flee. She had planned, and now it was time to enact it.

She went inside to her room and opened a drawer. She picked out a ring and tapped it against a portrait above the fireplace. It was her and Lucius, both looking deliriously happy. She wondered where the happiness had gone, and then shrugged. The portrait moved and she smiled, the best place to hide anything was right in someone's face…

Behind the portrait was solid marble, just like the rest of the room, but she tapped her wand in the middle of the largest block three times, and then whispered, "Cruentas." And she smiled at her private joke. Inside were several bottles of deep red liquid, she quickly reached past them for a small golden ball. She then whispered a phrase and then it expanded to the size of a basketball. She then took a bottle and pushed it into the ball. It went in and didn't come out. She did this for every bottle and then closed the portrait.

She then shrunk the ball and placed it in her pocket on her robe. She then sealed the pocket so that it would fall out. After that she stepped to the window and jumped out.

The wind swept through the room, and made the windows rattle and small objects in the room fall over. Outside a small bat flew into the night, and it was smiling…

Shout Outs-

DragonSoul- A bit strange! Hmph… Damn it is weird isn't it? Weird and twisted… But as long as you like it that's what matters!

Jivanna- Well I don't know quite where this is going but I intend for it to be shorter and less involved than AD, but I think that a sequel for this may be in order…

SophieB.- Thanks for pointing out specific things that you liked, the whistling thing caught me a little by surprise when I wrote it, and I'm glad you liked it as I thought it sort of represented Lucius on a deeper level or something similar to that… Anyway I hope your confusion is eased a little, although I probably just made it worse…

Sarai- Well I did intend for this to be twisted and to make it very dark, so I hope the nightmares aren't too bad, they'll only get worse before they get better.

Emma- Well I just dashed your anti-suicide hopes big time didn't I? I'm glad you still think this is powerful, I work pretty hard on it, and the music I listen to really compliments the mood.

Gwen- Thanks, I like the switch too.

Mizzy- What? No new word? I liked that newest thing you just put out, the Dungeons one, very enjoyable and I want to see more of it so back to work! Snape will get happiness, more than anyone else at any rate… Snape deserves a lot of credit and he's so fun to write!

Silver Hawk- A 9 eh? Well that's pretty damn good so I'll take it and frame it. And it's Awesome, just so you know ^_^ and thanks for the bloody brilliant, I love that phrase… 

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED YOU MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT!


	5. Somebody Someone

Disclaimer- I don't own HP, Korn, Terry Pratchett or Adema. And if you know of an extremely good Internet Latin-English dictionary, talk at me!

A/N- Yeah! People are enjoying this and reviewing! Oh well, this is the last chapter, until the Sequel that is!

**SOMEBODY, SOMEONE?**

A week. A week that had lasted a year. Lucius poured through the Octavo, looking for a spell, one that would allow them into another's mind. He was drunk again; there was no other way to truly read the Octavo, which was why it took so long. The Octavo burned, it penetrated the mind and ripped it into pieces, the shield of alcohol was all that separated you from insanity.

Lucius wasn't even sure of that anymore. 

_I can't stand to let you win_

_I'm just watching you_

_And I don't know what to do_

Draco had been hiding; it was impossible to not see. _Him,_ everywhere. That bastard was following him, making him think making his wrists hurt. Oh god his wrists hurt, he could see the blood on his arms still, it coated them, he was never clean. He'd had to go to the infirmary three times already, boiling water hadn't worked, neither had the sand paper or the fire… It only left more, more blood…

Draco leaned over the toilet again and threw up. Again.

_Feeling like a fool inside_

_Feeling all the love you hide_

_Thought you were my friend_

_Seems it never ends_

Ron was- different. Aside from that fact that Harry was acting so cold, Ron seemed withdrawn, folded up like a wilted flower. His hair was disheveled, and he didn't look at anything in particular. Hermione still spent time in the library, although the books she was reading were greatly different from the ones she had been reading. Her grades had actually begun to slip slightly, something that let people and professors know that something was wrong. 

Ron was vacant though, although if you watched closely, you could see the pain in his eyes whenever he looked at Harry, the absolute betrayal…

_I need somebody, someone_

_Can somebody help me?_

_All I need is some pain_

_Not just for me_

Harry though… Harry was scary. People attempted to talk to him, everyone did, and all he did was smile a strange smile that sent shivers of fear down their spines, shivers that burned.

Inside Harry's mind the world was broken, it was torn into fragments. He no longer slept even though his entire body was dominated by needing to sleep, to die. He no longer craved pain, he only craved release, and soon it would be time… He could sense it, linked as he was to Wormtail, linked as he was to the very soul of the man that had killed his parents, that was in his debt-

That stopped him from endless beautiful oblivion.

_Giving you with this and that_

_Giving gave nothing back_

_It's all related to_

_All the things I do_

Dumbledore tore his hair in frustration, there had to be something he could do! Lucius was helping as much as he could, but they needed to reach Harry on a deeper level. Dumbledore knew that he was locking his feelings away, he knew that deep seated urge to sleep, to let the troubles hurt no more, to let it all go away, just let it all float away…

"No, we must do something, I must-" And Dumbledore stopped, he needed something to heal both Harry and Draco, and he knew… He took out his wand, and looked at it. What he was about to do was illegal in almost all wizarding countries, an unforgivable curse that was as effective as it was unpredictable.

There was no other choice.

_Feeling like a fool inside_

_Seeing all the things you tried_

_I am nothing_

And yet to Harry, the world was perfect. He had learned about 10 new hexes this week alone. He practiced constantly and had weaseled several all-purpose passes from the new DADA teacher who was in awe of him. Stupid whore that she was…

Harry's eyes didn't sparkle, they didn't show emotion. They weren't full of hate, Harry didn't hate, he didn't love, he did something so much more dangerous, his eyes chilled anyone that looked into them to the core of their soul. His eyes were filled with frozen iron will, it wasn't hate, it wasn't anger, it wasn't determination and yet it was all three mixed with a peculiar sadism and unholy amusement. Harry's eyes didn't see people any more; they saw things, comprehensive things, but things.

He looked through the book, turning the pages slowly and with a certain amount of leisure. His eyes alighted on a word and he smiled. At last, the Inficio hexes, the three greatest poison curses a wizard had ever invented. Invented by an ancient Japanese sorceress, each had a different affect. The first didn't affect the person for at least two days, before giving them a fever that wouldn't break unless they were given the blood of a white tiger killed on a Monday in the fog. The second took only a few hours, but it made a person die slowly over the course of a couple years, it was very similar to ALS, and yet it was the last one that was the most horrible.

It took effect immediately. It made every single sense except touch shut down. And then over the course of 3 days and 2 hours (the book said the witch had calculated it quite extensively) the body would bleed to death from the inside out as the blood was slowly transformed to acid, and the worst part was that it actually kept your body alive as it happened. Harry smiled.

It was perfect.__

_Can somebody help me?_

_All I need is some pain_

_Not just for me_

Dumbledore looked at Lucius, the man was still a little tipsy looking, but he knew his mind was functioning now. The sobering charm was particularly affective when cast by a powerful wizard, Dumbledore fit the bill. Draco walked alongside them, his eyes casting to each side nervously, his hand clutching his wrist as it twinged with pain. Lucius looked at him worriedly before it was buried under his façade of indifference. 

They walked into the library and stood before Harry who looked up from memorizing the last Inficio hex. His eyes flashed, he knew that Dumbledore was up to something. Dumbledore looked at Lucius and nodded. Lucius flicked his wand and Draco was suddenly flung up over the table and next to Harry, and then Dumbledore uttered two words that would either save the two, or break them.

"Persentio Animus!"

_I look, I sign_

_I need someone_

_Inside to help me out_

Draco screamed as he felt pain, a depth of sorrow and blackness and despair that was unimaginable. How could emotion hurt like this? He wanted to cry, to let himself go crazy with racking sobs, and the feelings wouldn't even let him. He then felt anger, surges of wild hatred, and then cold, nothing but ice…

Harry didn't feel anything aside from fear, fear and something intangible, something that was angry, but panicky. His own emotions overruled it as his betrayal made him manifest power that he didn't know he had. Lucius' eyes widened, Harry was able to control his power, without a wand-

_With what_

_I'm trying_

_I'm crying_

_I'm praying_

_In a pile of_

_Shit_

_I'm dying_

_I'm dying…_

Harry's eyes flared and his body cracked with power, it exploded forth from him and swept through the room, the rock by him cracked and windows shattered. The flagstones grew hot and then froze, Harry looked like a vengeful god, a demon of death and hate and ice… Books near him froze and ice crept all over the library, students were screaming and the air was cold, colder than anything anyone there had ever felt, except for Harry, who lived with it every day buried in his soul. Only now it wasn't only in his soul, it was in Draco's.

He didn't care though, couldn't care. He felt nothing, nothing could touch him and- He suddenly found another power pressing down on him, one that made his look weak and pathetic, he knew that it was Dumbledore, and it made him angrier, in vain. The power suppressed his rage and dampened his hatred, and then it happened-

He heard Draco's screams…

_I need somebody, somebody, somebody, someone_

_I need somebody, somebody, somebody, someone_

Someone… 

A/N- I couldn't post something so short, so here's more!

The room cracked with tension, the strain was palpable in the air, it hummed and vibrated with energy. Lucius fought the magic that held him as he was forced to listen to Draco's screaming. Dumbledore restrained him though, just as he restrained Harry's strength. And yet- 

Harry walked over to Draco, and looked at him, curiously. The boy was writhing on the floor, arching his body in sheer agony. Harry wondered at how Draco was able to get so much pain. He touched him and Draco's agony became his, and Harry smiled. The ice was being backed off; the pain was melding with it. Something was whispering in his ear, just a little longer, then it'll all go away, all of it…

_"You old fool."_ The words were said with force, venom, they were said into people's minds. Dumbledore grimaced as he felt a surge of force from Harry. Draco sobbed; great dry heaving sobs that racked his rib cage with pain. It crackled, it was dry and it hurt sharply.

"Harry…" Draco whispered and something flickered across Harry's face. And then it was gone. Dumbledore yelled with triumph inside his head, but maintained his calm, if only Draco could break through…

"Harry? What is going on here?" Harry looked up into Hermione's face, and saw her kind caring worried expression, and once again his resolve seemed to weaken. She took a step forward and Harry involuntarily twitched his mouth as if to try and smile. And then it stopped.

"Go away 'Mione." He waved his hand and she was suddenly flung back- _fast._ Dumbledore grabbed her quickly, which Harry expected him to do, and when he was weak Harry struck the bonds. Dumbledore wavered and gritted his teeth, he would not let this boy go. Harry growled and was about to strike again when-

"Harry?" Once again, the third time, the third test, his name. Ron… Harry looked into the eyes of his best friend and something caved in him, he was hurting people, he was hurting his friend. He looked at Draco, and a tear fell from his eye. And his resolve hardened. He knelt and took Draco up in his arms and Dumbledore relaxed. He carried Draco over to Ron and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you Ron." And he kissed Draco on the forehead, and then Ron as well, Ron blushed on reflex and Harry just smiled. 

"You're a great friend, tell 'Mione I love her." Ron shook his head what? And then Harry whirled around to face Dumbledore, and "smacked" him hard with raw magical force. Lucius turned to catch Dumbledore with a spell, but the old man's nose was broken once again and he was limp in Lucius's spell net. And Harry was gone.

"He comes." Wormtail crowed. His silver arm glittered with power and the Dementors around him rustled in silent apprehension, this was it, the test if their new lord was worthy of them or not. Suddenly Harry was there, standing amidst the Dementors, the creatures he feared most in the world.

He didn't fear them now. They actually shrunk back from him, his rage and hate and sheer depression destroyed any shred of positive emotion they could have stolen. The Dementors, for the third time in their creation, collectively felt fear. The first time, after they had been created by the nightmares of Griffyndor himself. The second time, when Lord Voldemort had contacted them and now this…

But Wormtail took no notice of any of it. For him there was only a pair of green eyes, nothing complicated, nothing poetic, they were just green, special for nothing that he could see. Except, they were Lily's… Lily… Wormtail felt pain sear his brain and then shrugged it off. He rose up in the chair, he was disgusting, his clothes were dirty smelly rags. He seemed to notice this and waved his hand. They patched themselves and cleaned, and he was dressed now in complete robes, soft clean…

"Peter." Harry said, throwing his voice out, making it fill his rib cage and the room, it rang with command. Wormtail looked at him and cocked his head. "Because of **you** I cannot rest, because of what have become I must live this torment constantly, so don't think this is personal, because it is simply so much more than that." Harry ended his little speech in a whisper, and then he attacked. With a spell that Wormtail never expected.

"Expecto Pantronum!" And out of the end of his wand came a great silver stag and it looked like-

"Prongs?" Wormtail asked in wonder, and the stag merely looked at him, and then-

"Goodbye Peter, Inficio Naishukettsu!" And Wormtail spasmed and screamed as he became deaf and blind. To be suddenly plunged into a world with no sound or sight was enough to make him go crazy, and to feel the pain of the curse… He collapsed and Harry was secure in the knowledge that the man would die a horrible death. He turned his back and therefore missed the worried look the stag shot him before vanishing.

Now, now he was free…

"Wake up." Ron hissed to Draco. Lucius was reviving Dumbledore cautiously. The old man lay back and Lucius whispered constant healing charms under his breath. Finally Dumbledore coughed violently and awoke.

"Damn you, wake up Ma- Draco." Ron shouted, his voice twisted with panic and rage. Draco shuddered and then opened his eyes. He started in fear and then anger.

"Where is he?" His voice quiet and full of rage. He shoved Ron back and rose up to face a wearied looking Dumbledore. "Where is he? What did he do to me?" He shouted and waves of emotion swept over them, confusion anger fear despair- love?

"We must hurry, it may already be too late." And he took out a small stone with a run carved on it. He grabbed Draco and Ron while Lucius grabbed his shoulder, and then-

"WHY CAN'T I DIE?" Harry cried out. The Dementors were in a panic, fluttering everywhere about the castle that was Azkaban. Other prisoners cowered from Harry's rage. The castle was already looking wintry and where ever Harry walked frost bit into the stone floors. He finally grabbed one withered looking prisoner and growled a question to it.

"Who are you?" The prisoner, a woman, gulped.

"I'm- Nalia Lestrange." Harry froze and then his look became positively vengeful.

"You, Voldemort mentioned you." He leaned in close to the woman. "I didn't like Voldemort very much, but maybe you can still serve him in the bowels of Hell, I couldn't tell you." And she screamed as Harry froze her spine, literally.

He stood then, and looked at himself. Somewhere deep inside of him he knew that this was wrong and yet-

_No Harry, this is right, this is what you were meant for, why else would Voldemort, who feared no witch or wizard have tried to kill you, he knew of your power, knew of this strength._ Harry nodded, listening to the voice, disregarding that one thing that had been an anchor for as long as he'd known of Voldemort, Dumbledore was greater than him.

Because he was greater than Dumbledore. The voice whispered and cajoled him, and he knew that the voice was right. The world was dirty, it was his job to clean it, and then he could rest, sweet dark black sleep… The prisoners and Dementors had clustered around him as he'd thought, and he smiled at all of them. No better time to start than the present.

"_Finite Vita."_ And he laughed as all the prisoners died; it was a spell made from his will alone and the power of his wand. No other wizard could have cast it, it was the new killing curse, one that would kill all within it's reach, it was beautiful and Harry's first gift to the world. The Dementors tried to flee, but Harry was one step ahead of them.

He reached down the bond with Draco and drew out his lover's ability with emotions, to broadcast the opposite of hate and despair and all negative emotion. It was not happiness, for the only true antipathy to emotion is apathy. And that was what Harry broadcasted, and the Dementors died. And then Harry realized how close he was to death; he spent far too much energy and was drawing on his very life force. Only one thing left to do.

He slammed the bond between him and Draco shut and then concentrated masking himself from detection, before apparating to the one place that he'd lived in for most of his life, the cupboard under the stairs, and collapsed wearily onto the bed they had still left in their after all those years.

Before he fell asleep, his scar pulsed green, and there was the eerie air of great amusement, and then a chuckle, one that was hauntingly familiar…

And then sweet blissful Nirvana overcame him.

"He's gone." Was all Draco would say. The boy had screamed briefly before they had disappeared, and after arriving in Hogsmeade Dumbledore had briefly checked to make sure Draco was alright before Apparating all of them to Azkaban, just before Harry left. He walked forward to examine the dead bodies and empty robes of the Dementors. Draco had dropped to his knees in exhaustion; Harry had been drawing energy from him.

Ron caught him and gently held him while Lucius stared in awe at the death and destruction the Boy Who Lived had wrought…

"He's gone all right, I am a fool-" Dumbledore started and Lucius interrupted him.

"I think we are all fools, and yet, we are all we have. Potter will turn out worse than Voldemort if this continues, he must be stopped-" Lucius began and was in turn interrupted by Ron.

"If you hurt him I **will** kill you." He whispered as he held Draco in a way he'd never thought possible. He couldn't believe it, the Harry he knew would never do such things, but the evidence was before his eyes, no way to deny it.

Sometimes destiny is crueler than you can imagine. And sometimes, pain is the kiss of life.

"Don't forget Draco." The voice whispered, "Meet me where the wall are weak, and then we can find Twighlight…" 

The Beginning… 

Shout Outs-

DragonSoul-Well that shows you that neither happens, he goes deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole is all… And I loved that scene in Magic's Price, my first ever slash book I read! But I can't stand her new Valdemar stuff… Whatever, so you love psychopathic Harry? If you need to you can always borrow him, but I'm growing pretty fond of him too.

Creamy Mimi- I've told you how much I love you right? Your review is exactly the kind I'm trying to evoke, it's nice to know that it worked!

Mizzy- RUN OUT OF FANCY WORDS!!! OH NO! Whatever will I do????? Sure you can put your fics on my archive, anything you want, and who gave you a weird review on what? I'll go check it out so I can bash them over the head with a blunt piece of wood and then do something really creative and painful involving a spork and some salt…

Jivanna- Well you never should have tried to guess what I was going to do, you can't predict crazy people! Hee hee… That includes Harry by the way. *Psycho Harry glares at author and then attempts to hex him to death* EEK!

Silver Hawk- Hmm… 10 eh? I think that I should really refrain from gloating but why would I do **that** of all things? ^_^; You can write serious stuff I bet, just pretend your cat died and listen to naughty rock music. That's what I do, except the dead cat part. I write depressing stuff to Korn, Adema and that one Hoobastank song.

SophieB- You don't know that half of how vampirish Narcissa is, I tried to be subtle but maybe I was too subtle, did you catch the red liquid in the bottles? I'm glad to know that you like the descriptions, I'm trying for description, if you have any critiques or advice those go over really well…

Katxue- I didn't think it was **that** explicit, but should I up this to NC-17? It's up to you guys, I don't intend on doing the sort of incredible detail that comes with describing certain parts of the human anatomy, the "nether regions" if you will. Psycho Harry doesn't dig that. (Oh, I think I've found a muse at last!) Psycho Harry, witty Hermione and Sarcastic Draco, that'll be them!

Sarcastic Draco- "Ah great we're fucked."

Psycho Harry glares around before getting an odd glint in his eyes.

Witty Hermione turns another page in The Witches Guide to Curing Insanity.

LOVE TO ALL, AND A GREAT "BIG HAPPY HOLIDAYS" (CHANUKAH IS OVER AND I GOT THE MOTHERLOAD!)

END OF PART OF 1 OF "SHADOWS AND ICE"


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